Accept That You're Unacceptable (part 10)

By Bill Gothard & Missy Beezley

Ok, you know the underlying causes of self-rejection and the devastating effects it can have on your relationship with God and with other people in your life. I have shown you what God says and how He feels about you. So now it is time to get past this. Instead of rejecting yourself, you need to practice accepting yourself as God has made you.

Now, the reason I used the word practice is because that is exactly what you will have to do. Turning self-rejection into self-acceptance is not easy by any sense of the word. Especially if you have been rejecting yourself all of your life! It takes time. Sometimes months, sometimes years, but it is definitely worth it when you reach the end of that road. When you finally can accept yourself as you are, you will feel such an overwhelming sense of joy and happiness that it is almost impossible to contain your glee.

Please read the steps below slowly and carefully, and follow the formula exactly. It is only when you follow this formula that you will be able to get past your self-rejection.

RESPONDING TO “DEFECTS”

A. Correct Them, If Possible, when the defects distract from effectively communicating God’s message. For example, if my sloppy appearance detracts I should buy a new suit.

B. Exercise The “Prayer Of Faith.” Faith discerns and visualizes what God intends to do, and then prayer is made in harmony with that discernment. Faith is not “twisting God’s arm” to do what we think is best. Faith discerns three types of sickness:

1. Sickness unto death (Psalm 90:10)
2. Sickness unto chastisement (1 Corinthians 11:28-33)
3. Sickness to manifest the work of God and to glorify Him (2 Corinthians 12:6; John 9:2,3).

C. Glory In Unchangeable “Defects.” Attach new meanings to old “defects:”

1. Make them marks of ownership to constantly remind us to whom we belong, “For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's” (1 Corinthians 6:20).

2. Make them motivations to develop inward qualities. The frame is not conspicuous when it surrounds the finished picture, “I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well” (Psalm 139:14).

3. Make them the means to be a better servant. Outward beauty is often used to get others to serve us, but true happiness only comes by serving others, “And whoever of you desires to be first shall be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many” (Mark 10:44,45).

And if it makes you feel any better, whatever defect or “ugly” part that you supposedly hate about your earthly body, will be fixed and beautified soon enough. You see, the Bible tells us that when we get to Heaven He will fix those things and our bodies will be completely perfected. If you don’t think you’re beautiful now you will be eventually…

Those two scars on my face will be gone. That annoying pain in my pinky toe that I got from breaking it five times will no longer hurt when I step on it wrong. And the four fillings in my teeth that I attained as a sugar-crazed eight-year-old will no longer be needed because I will no longer have those cavities. Our bodies will be perfected. We will be like Christ. So, don’t worry……you won’t always have to be your imperfect self. It won’t last forever…

BASIC STEPS TO SELF-ACCEPTANCE

A. Detect ungratefulness toward God

Make a list of all the changes you would like to make in your appearance, abilities, family or social heritage. Correct what you can and list benefits for what you cannot change.

B. Thank God for the way He has made you thus far--especially for that which you wanted to change but could not.

See how those features you are unable to change are actually building the message God wants in your life.

C. Put yourself back on “God’s easel” and purpose to cooperate with Him in developing inward qualities.

Memorize the qualities God wants to develop in you. Make a word study of each quality in Matthew 5:1-12, Galatians 5:22-24. Write out all the synonyms and antonyms possible. (List the circumstances that God may use to develop Christ-like character)

D. Dedicate yourself to serving the Lord by reproducing His character in the lives of others.
Begin a life notebook with a section on creative projects which motivate the development of Christ-like character. That which works for you may help someone else.

E. Attack Satan’s lies with God’s Truth

Go through these blogs once more and pick out your favorite verses concerning beauty and self-acceptance. Write them down and stick them on your car, in your bedroom, your locker, in your purse, or on the bathroom mirror. Memorize them too. Whenever you feel that sense of self-rejection coming on, retreat to a private place and read those verses. Pray and talk to God about it.

If you follow these simple steps you will be on your way to self-acceptance. Don’t allow Satan to lie to you anymore. God knew exactly what He was doing when He created you. There is no reason not to trust Him.

I think according to the world’s standards we all are misfits, but that doesn’t matter because God uses misfits. All the greatest men and women in the Bible were misfits. As a matter of fact, we are all completely unacceptable. Because of our sin, there is no reason that God should love us at all. But He does. Don’t ask me why because I don’t know. I have just learned to accept that I’m unacceptable and I have accepted God’s free gift to me even though I know I don’t deserve it. I have accepted God’s love.

For it is because of His love that we are no longer unacceptable. It is because of Him that we become worthy. We need to trust God when He says that we are valuable. Just remember: It is not you or the things you do that make you valuable. Only God makes us valuable. Without Him, we are nothing.

I like what the renowned Bible teacher, Dr. Adrian Rogers said about it: “God doesn’t love you because you’re valuable. You’re valuable because He loves you.” I think that’s something we all need to remember…

(End of series)