FRIENDSHIP level 2

By Bill Gothard

LEVEL 2: casual friendship

* This level is based on common interests, activities and concerns.

* In this level, you have freedom to ask specific questions: Opinions, ideas, wishes and goals.

ACCOMPANYING RESPONSIBILITIES include…

3. You must learn to identify and praise positive qualities.

4. Design appropriate specific questions for children, youth and adults.

DEVELOPING LEVELS OF FRIENDSHIPS

The following are a few basic tips to keep you on the right track when meeting new people or when developing friendships:

B. Casual Friendship

1. Discover her strong points.
2. Learn about the hopes and desires he has for his life.
3. Develop and ask him appropriate specific questions.
4. Show interest and concern if she shares problems with you.
5. Be honest about yourself and acknowledge your faults to him when appropriate.
6. Reflect interest and trustworthiness in being his friend.
7. Talk with God about her and her needs.

IDENTIFYING POSITIVE QUALITIES

One of the most important purposes of a friendship is to assist one another in developing Christ-like character qualities. In order to do this we must be able to know and distinguish between specific qualities. These qualities can include such things as:

1. Truthfulness vs. Deception
2. Obedience vs. Willfulness
3. Virtue vs. Defilement
4. Forgiveness vs. Rejection
5. Hospitality vs. Loneliness
6. Joyfulness vs. Withdrawal
7. Reverence vs. Disrespect
8. Patience vs. Restlessness
9. Wisdom vs. Natural Inclinations
10. Enthusiasm vs. Apathy
11. Tolerance vs. Prejudice
12. Gratefulness vs. Pride
13. Responsibility vs. Irresponsibility
14. Sensitivity vs. Callousness
15. Deference vs. Rudeness
16. Meekness vs. Anger

DISCERNING POSITIVE QUALITIES THROUGH NEGATIVE TRAITS

Every negative trait is a positive quality misused. A person who is careless with money is misusing the quality of generosity. A person who is critical and judgmental is misusing the quality of discernment. For example:

Someone who gushes with sentimentalism, undiscerning empathy, or takes up offenses is misusing the positive quality of compassion.

Someone who is judgmental, snoopy, critical, or fault-finding is misusing the positive quality of discernment.

Someone who is irresponsibly lenient, permissive, irresponsible and weak is misusing the positive quality of forgiveness.

Someone who is overly touchy, easily offended, and emotional is misusing the positive quality of sensibility.

Someone who is too gullible, overly serious, or impulsive is misusing the positive quality of sincerity.

Someone who is indifferent, permissive and disinterested is misusing the positive quality of patience.

DESIGNING APPROPRIATE SPECIFIC QUESTIONS

After getting acquainted with a person and asking general questions, we can determine by his openness in responding to the questions whether we are free to go to the next level of friendship and ask specific questions.

AREAS OF SPECIFIC QUESTIONS: Information on ideas, opinions and goals.

* FAMILY

1. To what do you look back as your happiest childhood memory?
2. What do you feel is the most important factor to having a happy family? (or marriage)
3. Did your parents have any special wishes for your life?
4. What were the childhood goals of your parents for their own lives?
5. How did your parents come to choose the name they gave you?

* FUTURE

1. What are some of the goals you have for your life?
2. What to you is the most important thing in life?
3. How did you happen to get interested in your present work? (if employed)
4. If you could have one wish right now, what would it be?

* FAITH

1. What do you think God’s purpose was in making you?
2. What were the events which led up to your becoming a Christian? (His answer may reveal the need to explain salvation to him)
3. God gives each Christian a spiritual gift. Do you know what yours is?
4. Have you ever dedicated your life to God’s will?
5. What do you see as the greatest difficulty in living the Christian life?

CONTINUED IN THE NEXT BLOG…