Mirror, Mirror On The Wall (part 1)

Written by: Bill Gothard & Missy Beezley

“Mirror, Mirror on the wall……who’s the ugliest of them all?” and the mirror answers me saying, “That’s a stupid question, you fool! You are the ugliest one of them all! Now get away from me before your hideousness shatters me!”

I think we all are familiar with that feeling of worthlessness. We all have that little voice inside our heads that screams “You’re pathetic! You’re ugly! You’re a failure!” Unfortunately, we live in a society that puts good looks up on a pedestal. To this world there is nothing more important than a perfect tan, slender waist, pearly white teeth, or bulging biceps. And if you happen to be so unfortunate as to get the ugly genes, at least you have intelligence. At least that is the second best thing. Everybody loves a smarty pants that can help us in the quest to find a cure for cancer.

But what about the people who don’t seem to have either one of the above traits. What if you’re not beautiful? What if you’re not intelligent either? Then where do you fit in this world? Where is your place when you’re the stupid ugly outcast?

I had a conversation with five different girls and I asked them each privately what they thought of themselves. Each one of them was beautiful, but when I asked them what they thought of their looks they became awkward and shy. “What? Don’t you know you’re pretty?” I asked. “Me? Are you kidding? I’m so ugly compared to other girls!” Each one of them had their own list of things that they hated about themselves. Things like scars, dark circles under the eyes, bad teeth……always something. I said to them, “That’s ridiculous! No one even notices any of that! You’re so gorgeous!” And they responded with something that shocked me, “I’m not as pretty as you.”

Was this a joke? Me?! Yeah right! And then I realized something. What we ourselves see in the mirror isn’t what everyone else sees. Don’t ask me why, but it has become apparent to me that we all seem to judge ourselves far more harshly than others seem to. The picture that I see of myself in the mirror isn’t at all what other people see of me. So that has led me to wonder……why am I seeing myself as ugly? Why do I think I’m a misfit if no one else seems to think that about me? Why can’t I accept myself as I am?

ACCEPTANCE OF SELF

It is a fact that a person’s attitude toward himself has a profound influence on his attitudes toward God, his family, his friends, his future, and many other significant areas of his life. As a matter of fact, one of the major areas of conflict in both youth and adults is that of having wrong attitudes about ourselves. These attitudes affect every other relationship in our life.

* When the most attractive and popular students on a certain campus were asked if they were satisfied with their basic appearance, over 95 percent replied that they were not! These students were aware of their basic sin nature and their need for salvation. They had placed their faith in Jesus Christ and had been reborn by the Spirit of God. But many were having continued struggles in the matter of dedicating their lives to the will of God. In further discussions with them, it was discovered that they had inwardly reasoned that if what they saw in the mirror was an example of God’s love and creativity for them, they couldn’t really trust Him with their future.

Isn’t that interesting? Do you see how our attitude toward ourselves can have a serious affect on how much we trust God? The reason many of us have developed such a terrible attitude toward ourselves is because we are listening too much to what the world is saying concerning worth and beauty.

WRONG DEVELOPMENT:

We measure ourselves with the outward standards of those around us in order to gain their approval.

* Appearance
* Abilities
* Parentage
* Environment

What we need is…

RIGHT DEVELOPMENT:

We still form attitudes by appearance, abilities, parentage, and environment, but we compare ourselves with the inward character of Jesus Christ in order to receive God’s approval rather than that of the world.

“I don’t think I reject myself that much…” you might say. Well, let’s allow God to be the judge of that. Read my next blog and take the Self-Rejection Test to see for yourself…

Continued in my next blog…